


frozen blood in my heart of iron

by unwantedaspiringqueen



Series: Bestla Lokidottir and ways she might have existed [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: And male Loki, Bestla (bessie) Stark, Crack Treated Seriously, I'm Bad At Titles, Kid Fic, Lady Loki, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki Has Issues, Loki loves his kids, Multi, Multiple Pairings, OOC, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Odin is an asshole, Pairings May Change, Tags May Change, Tony Has Issues, tony is tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-07 15:23:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15910995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwantedaspiringqueen/pseuds/unwantedaspiringqueen
Summary: A party on midgard leaves Loki with a child. With the way Odin treated his previous offspring, Loki knows the only way to protect the baby is to keep it far away from Asgard. Tony Stark is not ready to be a father. Pepper can't stop defending Tony.





	1. Chapter 1

Loki was furious. damn the miserable oaf and his merry band of sycophantic bafoons to the sixth circle of hel! loki was tired of their neverending mockery. that they had the nerve to openly insult him for his sorcery directly after said magic had saved thier foolish lives was infuriating beyond belief! he needed some time to breathe or he would surely end up changing them all into lemmings and conjuring a hungry horde of hawks to prey on them all. the sheer indignity of it all... oh, by all means praise the thunder summoning fool for all his victories but when his dark little brother, when the unloved second prince who felled nearly just as many enemies and saved them all from certain death with his magic?

how cowardly and womanish. with a grunt of frustration, Loki set fire to a nearby table full of warriors deep into their drinks. in the ensuing chaos Loki managed to slip away from the dining hall. what he needed was a little time away from Asgard, away from everyone. shielding himself from heimdall the sorcerer moved between space and worlds on a whim and found himself standing on Midgard.

in Malibu to be precise, in front of a mansion full of Midgardian partygoers. in boredom and frustration and general desire for some kind of distraction from the unfairness of life, Loki made his way to the front doors. there were guards at the doors requesting proof of invitation but it was immediately and abundantly clear that any attractive woman was allowed in without question. shrugging into female form, Loki transfigured her clothes from asgardian leathers into a shimmering green cocktail dress that hung off one shoulder and clung to newfound curves while showing off long pale legs accentuated by gold high heels. sauntering confidently past the line of people waiting, Loki tossed her dark hair and smirked at the security without even pausing her stride as she swaggered into the throng of warm bodies and drinks and pounding musical beats. heads turned to follow her progress and Loki inwardly preened at the attention of the slobbering strangers. Loki knew, knew damned well that she was beautiful be her form male or female. but it was nice to have others acknowledge the truth, however self evident it may be.

this was just what she had needed, to laugh at nothing, to dance in anonymity in a crowd of adoring, hungry eyes, to roll and gyrate her body to the beat of an unfamiliar song and know that she was the most gorgeous and powerful being on this worthless little planet. it was fun, simple mindless fun, and Loki could only think of one way to make it even better and relieve her frustrations even further. poison green eyes roved over the faces of the mortal males in the dim lights, until she met the dark gaze of a man standing at the bar, drink in hand. he was handsome surely, but that wasn't hat cemented her decision to bed him. it was the way he held her gaze, boldly unashamed to be found staring, it was the careless charisma in the smile he aimed at her, the sheer self assured way he moved, walking to her easily, even ass the very floorboards shook and pulsed with the force of the noise within these walls. with the crowd, they stood chest to chest, Loki's nose on level with his forehead, breathing each others air to be heard above the riotous joy of intoxicated revelers.

"Tony Stark." the way he said it sounded more like an explanation than a greeting and his boldness was refreshing.

Loki didn't offer her name in return. her smirk extended to a feline grin and she held fast to the front of his shirt so she could drag him in a random direction to the first empty room with a functioning door. they didn't talk anymore. not at any time during the short walk, and then their mouths were pressed together, gasps around colliding tongues sliding against each other sloppily in the rush to remove clothes. Loki didn't bother with much, lacy green panties tugged down over her heels, dress pushed down under her bared breasts and up over her hips as the stranger- Tony- licked a her pulse and groaned nonsense as he palmed her chest blindly, calloused hands exploring without prompting, his shirt abandoned on the floor. Loki unbuckled his belt and he took one of his hands away from her skin to move his pants out of the way. long pale legs wrapped around his hips before Loki lowered herself so that he was in her in a breaths time. she didn't hold back a chuckle at the colorful expletives tony grunted out at the action.

hips ground and rolled together rutting and writhing like snakes, like waves of the ocean, sweat slicked bodies moving as one in the dark. Loki deliberately clawed deep gashes into his back and arched sharply at the stinging pleasure of the retaliatory biting at her pulse point. the rhythmic thump thump thumping of her back against the door combated the tempo of the song outside, quicker now, harder, and she keened loudly as a rough hand wrenched her head back by a fistful of ink black hair. every nerve ending sang with the resounding tone of a bell and Loki was fairly certain she screamed. when it was over and Tony was catching his breath and adjusting his trousers, Loki pulled her dress into place and walked out of the coat closet without a word or backward glance, physically satisfied, tension relieved, and feeling relaxed enough to return home.

* * *

 

only to find himself in a frenzy to escape weeks later, when he discovered his pregnancy.

because he did have to get away. there was no question about that much. he hadn't forgotten Odin's treatment of his children and he wouldn't risk and incident like the last time... no. he placed a trembling hand over his abdomen at the memory. not ever again. Odin had never been kind to Loki's offspring but it had been the last that had driven home the severity of his cruelty. because never before the last had he simply killed the baby upon the moment of its birth. Loki shuddered with barely controlled emotion as he slumped forward at the memories. he had never even been able to hold her before her life was so devastatingly cut short. not this time. mind made up he left for the place of his child's origin. Midgard. no one would think to look for him there, and he would fit in easily in his female form.

teleporting to the nearest city was easy, and upon observation of her surroundings Loki surmised that she should fit in with her simple black pants and shirt, but this was still Malibu and the heat had never been kind to Loki, so she transformed her clothes to a black skirt and top that left her legs and abdomen largely bare with potentially excessive serpent themed gold jewelry. lodgings would be no issue. at the nearest hotel that suited her tastes, Loki produced large banded stacks of American money (ah the joys of magic) and procured a large suite of rooms at the beach resort. it wasn't a long term solution, but loki had time. settling in the large suite, she stared out at the beauty of the ocean stretching out before her eyes. Waves ebbed and flowed in an ageless rhythm as they had for millennia. tomorrow she would have to seriously take care of business. but for tonight she just needed a rest. so she ordered to most expensive sushi platter and some coconut water and was pleasantly surprised at how much she enjoyed both, despite having had no previous knowledge of what they were. that night she had a restful sleep heedless of the coming trials.

The following morning found her sick in the bathroom before sunrise. And hungry. Loki resolved to have breakfast by the sea.

one basic thing that took priority was finding a healer to visit.

without access to asgardian healers midgardian doctors would have to do, as Loki refused to neglect the health of the precious life inside her. but apparently that would require identification... loki took her time organizing an alias as she lounged on the beach during her breakfast. this was to be her identity for the foreseeable future after all. After some deliberation, she settled on the name Loki Friggson. Conjuring an id like the one she had stolen from a passing servant (a maid) for reference, she shifted the picture until she decided on an angle she liked. what to do now? well, she could see about getting a healer to ensure the well being of her child. strolling back inside she used the en suite phone to call the concierge office. they had said they could direct her to anything she needed within the city after all.

"Hello? How may I help you today?" said the voice of a chipper middle aged woman on the line.

"I am pregnant. where might I see a doctor to make certain of my health nearby?" there was no response for several moments save some startled floundering. within moments the woman was giving her the address of a private clinic with an accredited obstetrician after some scathing remarks from Loki after she had, initially had the audacity to insinuate that Loki was asking about where she could see about an abortion of all things. how deplorable of her.

"I see. I'll be down shortly. have my transportation waiting." the woman on the phone sniffled out a reply and Loki huffed, satisfied that her tongue lashing had been as harsh as she'd meant it to be.

perhaps in the woman's defense an entitled young lady with otherworldly beauty who could barely pass for twenty with a posh accent and seemingly endless money to burn had shown up (and in such revealing clothes) everything about her had screamed bitchy valley girl who got whatever she wanted and only cared about herself. hardly striking as mothering material in her opinion.

Loki read off the address from memory and passed the driver six crisp hundred dollar bills with instructions to make it snappy and he had eagerly complied.

"so, uh, maternity hospital huh? phew best one this side of the country..."

"yes. I am pregnant and this baby is of upmost importance" Loki turned an innocent and charming smile on the man, flexing her silver-tongue for the fun of it and enjoying talking about the baby. but the joyous glow in her eyes and the hand that lovingly brushed her flat stomach were entirely genuine. poisonous green softened to a light jade in her happiness. no matter where she was or how it had come to be, she carried a child within herself. a living thing of her own heart's blood that was hers to love and defend.

"well congratulations."

"thank you very much. I've already compiled lists of names!" and she had. she couldn't wait to raise her own baby. her absence should go without question for at least the length or her pregnancy, and she could... surely she could find a way to raise her child without anyone finding out. she was the liesmith, the trickster, the brightest mind of asgard. she could...

"so is the father excited?" the driver seemed genuinely happy for her even with his talkative nature.

"the father?" oh. him. well, she had been looking for an excuse to lie, anyway as it was... she let her face fall and wobbled the corner of her mouth just a little. eyes downcast she went on, "not really... he doesn't... that is to say... this has all been..." she ran a (fake) trembling hand through her hair and darted her eyes around the car, and out the window.

"oh would you look at that? what a pretty bird." the man driving the car clearly bought her falsified distress and she could see the pity in the set of his shoulders. the rest of the ride was quiet. when they arrived at the maternity hospital, Loki got out of the car without a word and strode into the building. when she enquired about an appointment she was given a heavy stack of paper and directed to a sitting area off to the side. some of the questions were harder than others, (such as social security number) but it was nothing loki couldn't handle with ease and a little magic. although she might have to use her magic on their computers as well. when she reached the portion regarding the father is when she wasn't sure of how to answer. his name was easy enough, tony was apparently short for Anthony, last name stark, middle name unknown. aside from that she left his portion blank. when she finished she handed off the papers to a bored receptionist who looked them over, typing information into her computer, then pausing to snort and look up at Loki with a derisively raised brow.

"Tony stark? really?"

"yes. that is the name of my baby's father. Type. It. In." or I'll turn you into a mayfly and wait around to observe your immanent death. insolent mortal.

"T _o_ _ny Stark?_ the Tony Stark? the zillionaire running the biggest company like ever?"

"likely the same man." Loki turned on her heel and was headed for the door when she paused. "take care how you speak to me you pathetic vassal or I shall see you fired before the day is out and ensure that you never find work again. yes?"

her appointment was scheduled for the next day.

the car was not waiting for her when she exited, so she simply teleported to an alley in a lively shopping area. she wanted more thing than she had and conjuring just didn't hold the same appeal. the first thing she did was walk into a quaint little boutique that sold designer accessories. the expense of the jewelry on her person and the superior air about her had a saleswoman pandering the moment she was in the door. loki produced a wad of money.

"I require a hand bag. fetch me something pretty." loki gleaned pleasure watching people fall over themselves at her words regardless of the reason. in the end she selected first a fairly sized simple black purse and a much smaller handheld variety that was just too lovely to leave behind (emerald with a gold clasp in the shape of a snake, beautifully made) the total cost was just under eight thousand dollars paid easily. loki handed the saleswoman an extra four hundred dollars.

"for your trouble. this is the best service I've found in all of Malibu."

"th-thank you miss-! please come again any time!" Loki waved a hand and filled the black purse with neatly banded stacks of money. it was so easy to get what she wanted on Midgard with naught but a few slips of paper. next was a phone. imperative to life in Malibu, apparently. again, time consuming but aided with money.

by the time that was done Loki was rather tired, and barely managed to persuade herself to clothes shopping before returning to the hotel. A simple affair. Black. Green. Gold. Leather. The usual suspects. 

the sun was getting low in the sky and she had an appointment for the morning. during the taxi ride Loki fiddled with the midgardian 'cellphone'. the 'google' function was a most useful one. apparently tony stark was something of a celebrity on this planet. a warmonger, much like Thor. ugh, the very thought. but this did present lovely opportunities that hadn't been there before. good chances to have the happiness she sought and the chance for a little mischief and problem causing while at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so unsure about posting this. I typed this after I had been drinking and was so afraid it would show. But I love lady Loki almost as much as I love mommy Loki so... Here we are. Please comment. I can take negative opinions, we're all adults here. But I do prefer the nice ones.


	2. it's like Maury level drama.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loki sees a doctor a lawyer and two very dangerous people. its a process. Loki tries to play innocent.

when loki woke in the morning she stretched and rolled over groggily before being struck a horrible sensation. darting up from the nest of sheets and pillows she padded across the shining floors and made it to a trashcan just in time to lose the contents of her stomach. damned morning sickness. after struggling for air and regreeting last nights dinner, Loki stumbled into the bathroom to clean her teeth and bathe. according to the clock on the wall she still had time for a nice long soak before she had to leave for her appointment with the healer. the bathtub was large and pristine white, easily big enough for an additional three bodies or so to fit comfortably and the bubbling sound of the water was soothing. Loki took the time to conjure some more documents that she now knew she would need(thank you to the google) and wondering about contacting a lawyer. Tony Stark was a wealthy, famous man which in America was at least equivalent to nobility at most close to royalty. her child was entitled to... a title. and the name stark with all that it might entail. surnames, as a midgardian custom, held weight, and if wielded properly, power. oh, Loki would see to it that this child never stood without power. this child. Loki's child. that was inside of her body. right now. she pressed her fingers to her lips to hold in a squeal of giddiness at the prospect.

sliding into the warm water and turning off the tap, Loki let herself imagine what her baby would be like. a boy? a little boy with bright green eyes and a harmonious laugh? perhaps a little girl? a girl with big dark doe eyes and perfectly formed little toes?

Loki hummed, hands at her flat abdomen, already impatient for a bump. For a visible sign to all the world that she, Loki Odinson, was going to have a _baby_. her very own baby. well, Loki Friggson was going to have a baby. perhaps her baby would have an aptitude for magic. perhaps not, half midgardian and all that... hmm, Loki had a long agenda for the day. healers appointment, then getting a 'bank account' then finding a lawyer and informing the world that Tony Stark was to be a father. assuming he wasn't already dead. as long as he had left behind a scrap of DNA that didn't matter much one way or the other.

after a thorough cleaning, Loki rose and used magic to dry herself and get dressed. it would've looked much better with a baby bump. just saying. hurry up there, baby.

the ride to her appointment was quiet. it was the same driver as the day before, silent likely because he felt awkward after seemingly upsetting her with his questions about her child's father the day before. upon arrival Loki noted that the receptionist kept her tone respectful and her eyes on that menial, low pay grade keyboard of hers. good. no peasant in any realm would ever be permitted to disrespect a prince of asgard. it was laughable as it was unthinkable. pathetic underling would get to keep her job but would wake up without eyebrows the next day as punishment for her lack of formal apology.

 the actual appointment was uncomfortable. there was a probe.  Loki looked was nine weeks along and her baby looked like a little bean in the ultrasound.

"congratulations, your baby is now about as big as a cherry miss Friggson! see that right there? that little spot on the screen right... there. that's your baby." Loki was not ashamed of her misty eyes at the sight of what was without contest the most perfect and absolutely beautiful little bean ever to grace a hovel like Midgard with its glorious existence. the whole damn planet ought be honored, really. the little bean was just that wonderful.

loki was prepared to voice a question but the hitch in her breath made her customary eloquence impossible. she was really looking t her baby, right now on that fuzzy grey screen. it was so small. in the back of her mind Loki knew that the healer was speaking but she was still to enraptured by the miraculous little bean to pay attention. words like gestational sac and fetal pole stood out but it was like in that moment the only two people in the world were Loki and her daughter or son. Loki refused the bloodwork, on account of her being unsure how her asgardian blood may differ from mortal.

loki left with a stack of papers and pamphlets and a printout of her ultrasound. and a prescription for some prenatal vitamins. there hadn't been a strong enough heartbeat and the doctor was concerned.

as she walked down the road Loki decided to forgo the lawyers... for now.

the image she constructed in her head was coming together and had to be carefully executed to work. stopping at a small shop, Loki bought a pale yellow sundress with little red button at the back to complement the cherry themed print. she transfigured her shoes. and decided to add a cherry themed hair clip. in no mood for googles or midgardian transportation Loki, with a spell, located the stark industries main office and teleported herself into one of their bathrooms where she promptly began to cry as hard as her eyes were capable. she made sure to rub at her face more than necessary and after a cursory glance at a mirror snapped her fingers to add a little smudged makeup and walked out into the office area wringing her hands like a terrified fool. wait for it... wait for it... now. Virginia Potts was passing by just in time to 'bump into' a distressed female Loki. papers scattered and both women landed on the industrial grey carpet. Loki was glad she had her things in her purse.

"oh, my god I am so sorry, are you okay? I really should have been more careful, that was all my fault." her voice trailed off as she took in Loki's apparent 'emotional' state.

"n-no, please it-its... f-f-fine. I was just... I've been waiting for a while now..." Loki made a show of standing shakily, as if the fall had actually hurt her.

"waiting?" Virginia looked confused and a little concerned.

"yes... I need to- I have to talk to-to Tony stark." her teary voice was small.

now Virginia Potts looked suspicious.

"ah. a reporter? or an ex one night stand?" these mortals and their constant need to disrespect their superiors was growing tiresome quickly.

it took an accomplished actor to blush on cue, and Loki was a master.

"um, the second one..."

pepper had heard enough and was mid step to walk away from the conversation in apparent disinterest when Loki's next words rooted her in place.

"I'm pregnant!" Loki blurted thoughtlessly (ha, as if) and covered her face with her hands as she was overtaken by sobs.

oh, pepper definitely didn't believe it. the emotion looked real for sure, and maybe this girl was pregnant but _no way_. tony was reckless, a party obsessed playboy, and a perpetual man-child but he was still a genius thus not stupid enough to make such a colossal mistake. so now he had fathered a child with some mystery woman from out of the blue? yeah. uh huh. bullshit for sure.

"you don't believe me."

pepper sighed and pinched her nose.

"honestly this is more than a little far fetched."

"I can prove it! or... or I will after I have the baby!"

"you know what? I can do even better! stark industries has a prototype blood test that can tell us the paternity as early as twelve weeks into your pregnancy. when are you available?"

"I'm nine weeks along. so in three weeks time."

pepper took a deep breath. it would all be sorted out. no need to start dealing out threats or insults on the off chance that Tony had fucked up worse than ever.

"I'll see you then, miss..?"

"Friggson."

"well. good day miss Friggson. I'll be in touch."

"wait! I need to talk to Tony! this is his baby too, he has a right to know. I've been waiting her for hours..." like hell she had. but manipulating their security footage would be child's play if anyone questioned her honesty.

"tch. well he's not even here. I'd think someone would've told you that or just kicked you out by now." pepper turned on her heel and strode on her way without waiting for another response.

 

that had gone _beautifully_. they hadn't been quiet or discreet in their little exchange and there were always paparazzi sniffing around no matter where pepper stood thanks to her closeness with tony. Loki kept her head down and her sniffles pitiful. when she entered the elevator no less than three people crammed in with her, bombarding her with questions and snapping photos of her as she pretended to try hiding her face. come the next day this would be everywhere. Tony Stark captain of industry, warmonger and absentee father. hehee. she had laid the groundwork and tried his workplace. he had one last chance to do this the easy way. Loki checked the time and decided it was time for mischief to take a lunch break. she'd earned it. plus if she showed up in his house right now it would look suspicious.

* * *

 

the cravings were new. Loki had never had to deal with the infamous pregnancy cravings but it must be the fault of the worthless midgardian worm of a man that she had ordered four things from the menu before finding something that didn't turn her stomach. pasta salad? no. cherry tart? absolutely not. three cheese omelet with spinach? closer than the others but still not good enough. after really stopping to reflect upon what it was that had drawn her to these things and what she'd been eating more of than usual recently, Loki settled on a crab and mushroom quiche. and it was glorious. why on earth did she have to so intensely crave seafood of all things? and had she always loved mushrooms so much? ah, mushrooms. she would have to get some raw for snacking purposes.

hailing a cab did not take terribly long but convincing the driver to go to the address she gave was tedious despite taking under a minute. silver. tongue. and money. the ride was long and Loki smoothed back her dark hair while admiring the view along the way. why did Tony Stark have to live so far apart from other people? the noise came before the actual house, music blaring so loud that there must've been another party, yet there were no lines of cars and no one visible inside. she dismissed the taxi, as Tony would be personally driving her back to the hotel.

Loki almost couldn't even hear her own footsteps as she approached the door and pressed the button beside the glass door. after a moment she pressed it again, holding it down nad considered using her magic to go inside when a voice rang out softly from seemingly nowhere.

"Mr. Stark is working and will not be receiving guests at this time. please try again at another point in time. thank you, and good evening."

"...hello? I really need to speak with Tony Stark right now. its an urgent matter. I know he'll want to hear this as soon as possible. better that it come from me than anyone else." the disembodied voice was unmoved by her performance, so with a half shrug Loki reached for the door handle, prepared to magically unlock it.it wouldn't be a visible sort of magic. as soon as the door was unlocked an ear splitting alarm sounded and the music stopped.

"you are not authorized to enter. please leave the premises promptly."

"oh, Norns, just let me in! I have to talk to Tony- who are you?" this voice hadn't been mentioned in her research.

"I am Jarvis. if you-" the gentle English voice was interrupted by the arrival of tony stark himself.

"Jarvis, daddy was in the middle of something... oh. do I know you?"

"ah! finally, yes you do know me... intimately if not very well at all. my apologies, can I come in?"

Tony shrugged, and opened the door with the hand not wrapped around a bottle of bourbon. he started walking and Loki followed him in.

"Mr.Stark I attended one of your parties, in this very house in fact, nine weeks ago. do you remember me?" Loki stepped in closer to stare him directly in the eyes. his eyes were nice, dark and serious with an air of intelligence despite his lackadaisical behavior. at once his serious expression melted into a rakish (and possibly drunk) smile. he snapped his fingers and pointed at her chest.

"right, I know you. green dress, epic leg muscles, right, right. so what brings you dasher?"

"my name is Loki."

"yeah, but I mean y'know the deer... cuz your legs. you know, actually, I think reindeer games might be a little more accurate." he had to be drunk if he was wiggling his eyebrows like that.

Loki stood by an unlit fireplace and gazed out the massive window, preying to the norns for patience.

"Mr. Stark-"

"Tony. its tony."

"Tony, I think perhaps you should take a seat." Loki sat down on one of the light tan couches and Tony didn't hesitate to site with his side pressed against hers and he smelled like alcohol and some kind of oil. just when Loki looked him in the eye and drew a breath to say the words a resounding **bang** had Tony jumping to his feet and spilling bourbon on a white postmodern rug.

a furious pepper pots charged onto the scene like an agitated bull in sensible business wear.

"Anthony Edward Stark!" she didn't even seem to see Loki, and grabbed ahold of the man's sleeve as if to shake him or drag him from the room. Loki stood and grabbed the opposite wrist. Virginia Potts was not going to ruin this for her.

"it isn't true, you cant be that stupid, Tony tell me it isn't true!"

"ooh, full name, if this is about what happened in Rio that was not my fault at all." Tony seemed oddly used to this kind of entrance from pepper but he couldn't hide his surprise and worry from the god of lies.

_"TONY!"_

"Christ, pepper what is so-"

"Anthony I am pregnant. congratulations, for today you are a father."

pepper seemed to have remembered her, because her face snapped around too fast to lock her burning gaze on Loki. she hissed through her teeth and reared up like a cobra eyes burning with agonized rage and Loki felt blind for not seeing it earlier. oh _that_ was terribly interesting. Tony's eyes went comically wide, and the bottle shattered. that rug was ruined. he would have hit the floor without pepper near throwing him to the couch. his eyes remained round as his face went pale and he pressed a hand to his chest as though he were in danger of a heart attack or stroke. his mouth gaped open and he couldn't seem to recall how to pull in oxygen. his entire body was shaking like a leaf in the wind. Loki deduced that it was time to call forth more tears. lest she look bad. she collapsed herself on the edge of the couch with her hands folded over her abdomen, her hair hiding her face as she cried heavy crocodile tears. pepper was the only one standing and she scrubbed a hand over her face in the relative quiet of the room.

"well the earliest possible paternity test  will be in three weeks. then we'll know. and we'll... go from there." her even voice crackled helplessly and she turned to face the window so that her expression couldn't be seen. at the sound of pepper's distress Tony rose from the couch to put a hand on her shoulder in comfort. in solidarity.

somehow she was taking this as badly as Tony. as though it were any of her bloody business. had Loki harbored any feelings for tony stark that lasted longer than the odd twenty minutes it took to conceive their child she might have taken offence at his actions. how had she become the intruder in this moment? Tony inhaled heavily and turned so he could address both women.

"we don't know anything right now. we don't know for sure that its mine, we don't even know for sure... you're sure?" even as he spoke pepper kept a possessive hand on his upper arm.

"positive. I have a printout from my nine week ultrasound if you'd like to see it. its from just this morning. I wanted you to know right away..." maybe helpless and simpering had been the wrong way to go. they didn't seem to be falling for it completely.

"okay, well. okay. shit. motherfucking _shit_. if it is mine, or if it isn't, do you know what you're going to do?"

"excuse me?"

"i mean have you considered... all your options? are you going to keep it?" at his words a sickening light of hope appeared in peppers eyes. like this might all just go away. "because even without a paternity test I would be willing to pay for the-"

Loki slapped him so hard the bones in her wrist hummed before she was aware she'd stood.

" _how dare you?!_ you- you utter bastard! you artless urchin-borne dotard of a man!" Loki started for the exit with patented dramatic flare.

"I think we are more than finished here. I will see you in three weeks and from there on you may contact me through my attorney!"

Loki stormed out and didn't stop walking until she was sure nobody was behind her. then she teleported back to her hotel room. she had tried to be nice about this. now it was time to watch the sparks fly.

* * *

the next morning the world was abuzz with the rumors about Tony Stark expecting a child. some who had "overheard" had seen the young woman leave Stark industries crying. did this mean Tony Stark planned to abandon his unborn baby? speculation stirred everywhere. TMZ had snagged a photograph of pepper Potts sneering at a crying Loki who held both hands over her abdomen. Loki couldn't have planned a better shot herself. let them stew.

* * *

it took them no time at all to find her number. Stark industries that is. Loki ignored their calls. it only took a matter of days to find a good enough lawyer. a case against Tony Stark? it was high profile and a veritable goldmine. in addition to child support, her attorney Mr.Jones, a stern little man with a bald head and a large mustache, recommended that she not only demand he pay her legal fees, but encouraged her to sue for emotional distress. she was pregnant and with his rejection and all the media attention, it couldn't be good for the baby. research revealed that the procedure to determine that Tony was indeed the father could also be used to tell the gender of the baby by examining the chromosomes. how ni

* * *

at twelve weeks Loki had a visible bump. it was small but definitely there. according to the healers her baby was now about the size of a plum. in her abundant free time Loki had started scrapbooking. ultrasound photos and photos of Loki took up all of three pages so far. she had chosen her names and simply needed to know the gender. the deep purple of her skirt brushed her knees in the warmth of the ocean air. today she would be going for her blood test (it was lucky that Stark industries was an advanced company because if the test had been at all dangerous to her daughter/so she would have refused) her magic insured that they would find no difference between her blood and that of a midgardian. her lawyer would accompany her and when Tony Stark was proven to be the father he would be served court documents before he had time to blink.

 see him respond to that.

she entered the building proudly, her white shirt displaying the shape of her baby bump, she quickly schooled her expression to gentle sadness when she saw cameras. were the press really allowed in the hospital? the flashing lights flickered like fireflies in the daylight as she was ushered into a private room. it was faster than expected. only a matter of two hours before Tony Stark was a confirmed father. he looked shell-shocked on the verge of sudden death. pepper Potts looked crushed. Loki nodded for her lawyer to hand off the papers to Tony who immediately passed them to pepper for inspection.

"you can't have full custody. Tony has a right to see his son."

"or daughter. then he oughtn't have denied their existence then, hm?"

Loki changed her mind about learning the gender today. she wasn't about to share another pivotal moment of her pregnancy with Pepper Potts.

"the requirement for confirmation is not the same thing as denial. you are a strange one night stand who turned up pregnant. anyone would have done the same. it belongs to Tony just as much as it does you."

"you have one more time to refer to my child as an it before I walk out that door without another word. you may call them either Bestla or Kol. refer in the feminine or the masculine but you will honor my baby as a person."

pepper was ready with a retort when Loki's lawyer stepped between them.

"hey now, ladies, please. not here.  this isn't the time for this talk, and miss Friggson is in no condition for a heated argument." he turned to a still irate Loki. "its dangerous for the baby to have you under so much stress."

 Tony stark was not the man she had thought him to be if he was still too dumb struck to speak. he'd seemed the sort with some backbone, a real spark. how disappointing. stirring up a mess for him to clean up would be fruitless if the gingery blonde lackey kept covering for him. the rave haired woman turned her glare on him to have it intensify when she inhaled to verbally tear into him. of course he was quiet. he was stone cold drunk.

"you came here drunk? did you drink on the way or did you come straight out of a bar?"

the guilty wince from pepper confirmed Loki's suspicions.

"oh that is simply _lovely_. truly Stark you never cease to amaze."

"Mr. Stark, have you been drinking today?" Mr. Jones raised a bushy brow with unmasked judgement.

"I think we are more than finished here for today. good day miss Potts. Tony... stay classy."

she didn't wait for her lawyers say so to leave the room. let Stark handle his own little PR mess. Loki had shameless playing the victim to do. The reporters crowded like flies around a dead thing, just as disgusting and three times as morbid. Loki had her innocent sad face on and walked faster as if she meant to ignore them all.

"ma'am! over here! is tony stark the father? were you lying for money or attention? what do you hope to gain from all of this?"

a theatrical gasp of indignation and pivot had her facing them with teary eyes and an outraged glower. her hands never left her belly.

"of course he's the father, he'll tell you himself when he sobers up enough to talk at all! all I want is for my baby to have an involved father... I can't believe you people." the waterworks really started flowing at the end of her answer. they were eating this up. Mr. Jones led her away by the elbow dodging questions on her behalf the whole way.

* * *

 Loki was doing her morning stretches while looking at listings for places to live because as nice as the hotel was, she wanted something more private for raising her baby. it was a difficult decision. did She want to stay in Malibu? it was nice enough and had good beaches but the oppressive heat was too much. there were many things Loki liked when she was a woman (mostly the same things as when she was a man, save a few notable exceptions) things like cities and fashion and books and chaos. there went that many serious requirements. the only feasible option was to look up dwellings, teleport to the location to personally inspect it, then purchase it. she briefly toyed with the notion of strong arming Tony Stark into paying for it with a guilt trip about the baby, then dismissed it. if it was to be her home ground then Tony Stark must have nothing to do with the issue. leaving him as powerless as possible when he stood in her space. not to mention the process would be that much quicker if she did it on her own. if she wanted to use her magic without having to explain it away she could. if tony purchased a mansion with six bathrooms and returned the next day to find twenty he was bound to be suspicious.

at thirteen weeks the morning sickness had begun to abate (thank the norns, the Valkyries and all  the golden glory of Valhalla) and there was a noticeable bump. Loki was steadily gaining weight. her breasts were the most uncomfortable part of the process. Loki had signed up for a pregnancy yoga class out of curiosity and for the exercise and hated it. hated every second of it. but stubbornness kept her attending. swimming was better, in the pool, not the ocean because the taste of salt water had the nausea rushing back.

she had been thoroughly ignoring any attempts to contact her from anyone save for her healers and attorney. if stark had anything to say he could go through Jones.

Loki leaned back to touch her ankle and exhaled slowly. the midgardians were onto something with these practices because compared to previous, this pregnancy did seem easier for all the earthly eccentricities. holding for another fifteen seconds before shifting to the next stretch, she mentally moved the tablet to hover in front of her face in the new position. Loki had been craving lemons since she woke. the sound of an opening door startled her into dropping the tablet and falling down. she caught herself on her hands so that her belly was away from any danger, naturally.

poison green alight with warning met bottomless brown as tony extended a hand to help her to her feet. Loki ignored it and moved with fluid grace to stand on her own, brushing off her shorts before placing her left hand on her belly and her right on her hip. a regally raised brow was the only greeting she deigned to offer. let him work for it.

he wasn't looking at her face though. in her tight tank top, even her small first trimester bump was glaringly obvious and he couldn't seem to look away from it. his mouth moved without sound and even Loki with her mastery at lip reading couldn't fathom what he was saying to himself at the moment. when he moved as though to touch her person, she slapped his hand away with a pointed 'ahem'.

"wow. I mean... wow. okay. hi? good morning."

"good morning Anthony." undeterred by her monotone and unspoken questioning he plowed on like the half-witted proverbial bull he was.

"its Tony. just Tony. look, we need to talk. about y'know, everything." he waved a hand at her abdomen as if she could have mistaken his meaning.

"you and I have less than nothing to discuss Anthony. that's why we have lawyers."

"seriously, don't call me Anthony. but we-"

"tell me not to do something and I will do it twice and take pictures."

Loki turned and strode for the kitchen area to pick up the phone and call room service while pulling back her heavy silken strands of jet black into a ponytail along the way. when Tony moved to speak she held up a polished finger to silence him. she ordered lemon coffee cakes, seared salmon with lemon butter sauce and sparkling sugar free lemonade. after hanging up she pulled a container of pre cooked mushrooms to snack on while she waited. after popping one into her mouth and hopping to sit on the black marble counter she addressed him.

"oh, apologies, did you want anything?" she batted her eyelashes to make clear that there was no apology and he could starve for all she cared. she was on her second mushroom when she ha an epiphany.

"no, I'm good. listen, I have been handling this all wrong and I'm sorry. I think we got off on the wrong foot, but were in this together, right? so the way I see it, the least we can do is try to get along, for Jarvis junior's sake."

"be silent and pass me a lemon from the basket behind you."

Tony complied, albeit with a very huffy attitude. he threw the fruit to Loki, then seemed to panic and tried to grab it back from the air before Loki caught it with ease and a confused half smirk. Loki busied herself with cutting the lemon and squeezing lemon juice all over the mushrooms. ah, delicious. would be better with fish.

"I think we should spend some time together and talk things out. get to know each other. get used to seeing each other cuz we're gonna be doing it a lot in the future. co-parenting... Christ. that is so weird."

"you should consider how I feel." ecstatic, blissful, excited beyond imagining "I had a one off with a stranger in a closet, I'm the pregnant one, there is literally a person living inside me, I cant go back to my family because they wouldn't accept me back because I. am. pregnant. the father denies he is the father and hides behind his girlfriend at every turn, the media is up my arse twenty four seven, _and_ I can't bury my sorrows in bourbon unlike a certain functioning alcoholic I shan't name."

Tony didn't have the decency to be cowed by her largely fabricated outrage.

"I hear what your saying, I really do."

"and how exactly did you even find me? are you stalking me now?"

"okay is this hormonal pregnant anger or the normal kind?" he backed away with hands raised in mock surrender.

"you dare mock me peasant?" damn. watch the language, this isn't asgard Loki. not a prince. not even a man at current.

"I've been called a lot of things-"

a knock at the door signaled the arrival of Loki's breakfast. she sat down to eat without looking back. her lemony fair was exquisite. while she chewed (silently- royal manners) tony made himself at home inspecting his surroundings, observing the shopping bags and papers full of discarded name ideas (old news, Loki had chosen the name weeks ago) Loki made no move to stop him. there was nothing incriminating for him to find. he lifted the discarded tablet from the floor -a Stark pad ironically- and turned it on.

"you moving?"

Loki ignored his question because it was a stupid one. and she was in lemony taste bud heaven and Tony Stark was not worth interrupting that. he scrolled through the listings before putting the device down and continuing to explore like a curious house cat. he was sifting through a pile of paper on an armchair when his movements halted abruptly. Loki craned her neck to see what had him shaken this time. ah, an image from her last ultrasound. she doubted tony could see anything meaningful there, but it had given him pause.

"hey, you done eating?"

"no? why do you ask?"

"we're going out."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maury level drama- a functioning alcoholic, a paternity test and an angry woman who despite not being directly involved swears the man she loves is not the father. ah, I used to hate that show as a kid. I wonder if its still on? the reason Loki is still lady Loki is that I imagine Loki has to be either in his female form or his frost giant form to be pregnant. pepper isn't a bad person. this is just a lot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry its been so long. I had a lot going on, though its no excuse. I like pepper defending tony. oddly I aslo really like seeing pepper and loki dislike each other.

Loki had no idea where Stark was taking her.

she had agreed on a whim, to accompany him to wherever it was he wanted to take her without question. things had been rather predictable f late and she needed some unexpected variables in her daily life. of course, she had made him wait for her to finish her breakfast, (no she was not going to rush her eating for his sake- don't be stupid) and then for her to shower and change. she had just been painstakingly selecting her shoes when he sighed and she'd had to take triple the normal time just for that. many of her marvelous high heels were increasingly uncomfortable. it would have to be flats.

the passenger seat of one of Stark's sporty little cars was sun warmed, the wind was wrecking her hair and the man beside her hadn't said a word since he started driving.

it wasn't awkward so much as boring. there were other things Loki had to do today so Stark had best make it quick or make it interesting. honestly at one point one had to wonder whether Stark even had a plan when he invited her to... nowhere that she knew of so far. neither of them showed any interest in conversation. Loki began to recognize the way that led to Stark's residence, but then he took a wrong turn and drove even longer. 

the car slowed and came to a stop in front of a mansion that had the same postmodern theme as his own but looked smaller and wasn't on the edge of a cliff. the bafoon broke the silence.

"soo... what do you think? do you like it?" he waved a hand at the bland structure.

"like what?" oh no. he wouldn't.

"the house? its the closest to mine there is."

"excuse me?"

"I could buy it for you. if you want." he would.

the house very clearly wasn't even for sale.

"no. I do not like it one bit, Anthony. take me back to the hotel. I do have plans for the day." Loki sniffed and examined her nails without a look in his direction.

"call me Tony. its Tony. seriously, not complicated. your looking for a place aren't you?"

"fine. Tony. I do not want _this_ house. I do not like _this_ house. its not my style. maybe it could appeal to you," the scorn was there for all to see, "but I have different (better) tastes. buy me something salty with lemon and take me back to the hotel."

"what kind of place are you-"

" _now_ , Tony."

 "fine. You don't want the house. What  _do_ you want?"

Loki combed back some of her hair with her right hand. The petulant sigh was real. How childish. Seeking to throw money at anything he couldn't figure out how to handle like a rational adult. Why the midgardians worshipped Tony Stark as they did eluded her. Scientific talents aside he was a bit of a moron. With the emotional scale of a child. Loki pointedly ignored him to focus on her nails.

"I'm trying. I'm really trying and you are so not helping."

How dare he sound so exasperated. What reason did he have to be at all dissatisfied with the situation at hand? 

"and pray tell what action on my part would be deemed helpful for you Tony? Is there anything at all I can be doing to make my pregnancy easier on you?"

She held up a pale hand to halt his interjection. 

"you are an arrogant day drinking man child, Anthony Stark, with no regard for anyone save your own self. you cannot buy your way out of every difficult situation you get yourself into. its a good thing your a decent bed partner or you'd be as lonely as you are rich."

"did you just say _bed partner_?"

it was like her scathing remarks had no effect on him.

"take me back to the hotel or I am getting out of this car."

"Loki, please. you're killing me here. all I want is for us to get along. when Jarvis junior gets here, we're going to have to see each other-"

"who are you calling Jarvis junior? if I have a son, I will name him kol. if I have a daughter I will name her Bestla."

"that is beside the point and those are the ugliest names I have ever heard, pick something else."

Loki stepped out of the car and started walking.

she could hear the mortal shouting behind her, but didn't bother stopping. she just walked stubbornly down the driveway approaching the road. loki knew he would follow. It wasn't even a matter of when. three... two... one... the shiny little sports car swerved ahead and blocked her path. he was predictable. embarrassingly so. but observing his reactions was important for the sake of future manipulations.

"get in the car."

Loki stepped around the vehicle and Tony cursed.

"okay, okay, well... what do they mean? the names?"

"Bestla was my grandmother's name."

"can we compromise? how about middle names? Cole Jarvis stark, or like... B _est_ -lah Jarvis stark. that works."

"it's kol." Loki corrected his pronunciation quietly with an indignant lift of an elegant eyebrow.

Tony put his face in his hands, head shaking in frustration.

"likewise.I suppose Jarvis will suffice for a middle name." it was a stupid midgardian tradition anyway.

"well if you- oh. oh, great. I guess that's settled. wow."

Tony was taking visibly measured breaths. his hands were clenching and relaxing around the steering wheel and was he sweating? honestly there was nothing to be so distressed about. he couldn't be so impatient as to be truly bothered by Loki's goading actions.  Loki took a moment to mentally review the conversation. Loki hadn't even been trying to upset him like this really, just irritate and confuse. maybe demean. just a tad. he had been fine until a moment ago. Loki tilted her head in a decidedly feline manner.

"are you so displeased with my choice of name, Tony?"

it was a couple more breaths before he even seemed to register the words. such anxiety seemed out of character for the charismatic billionaire. could this be related to his latent alcoholism?

"name? (huff) no the name is fine (huff huff) its fine. I just- it just hit me, again y'know?" he closed his eyes with no other outward signs of change, "we just picked a name. for our kid. this is huge. and I don't... I can't... what if it doesn't work?"

Loki was starting to feel something akin to guilt for sending him into such a fit. no harm had been intended. laying a slim hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch as if struck, she asked,

"what if what doesn't work? what's the problem, Tony?" touching him seemed to be making it worse by the second.

"we don't know each other. (deep breath) we don't know each other and we can't get along for five minutes. we're having a kid. this is a whole other... separate... person. what if I fuck it up? what if fifteen years down the road, I look back and its all fucked up and he hates me because I did it all wrong?"

Loki couldn't imagine why Tony was so afraid of having a child grow to hate him. for all Odin's cruelty, his cold demeanor and blatant favoring of Thor, Loki never doubted his love for his father. deep down. surely Tony would be a kinder father than Odin (bilgesnipes made kinder father figures than the allfather) so there was no need to fret. Tony didn't seem outwardly cruel, even with his smorgasbord of individual flaws.

* * *

Tony couldn't breathe.

it was the name. it made everything undeniably real and serious all at once all over again. he was going to be a father. memories of Howard assaulted him, the cold and ever distant figure in his mind was not thought of with any particular fondness. the last exchange between Howard and himself that was free of any hostility had been long before their last. Tony had several scars from Howards parenting expertise. what if his kid felt the same about him?

Anthony Edward Stark, father of Cole Jarvis Stark

(or  Anthony Edward Stark, father of Bestla Jarvis Stark, which really just didn't have the same ring to it)

he didn't want to be Howard Stark. he didn't think he could handle being Howard.

did it hurt to have your kid hate you? did Howard care? would he not care if his son or if his daughter hated him?

* * *

this was getting worse.

Loki didn't want to do this, but wasn't seeing many options. rather than bothering with magic, Loki simply grabbed Tony's phone from his pocket manually to find Pepper Potts' contact information. there was no one else she knew of that was close to him. it was fortunate that the woman answered on the first ring.

"hey Tony-"

"Not Tony. Loki Friggson. Tony seems to be having some kind of a fit. perhaps you ought to come and fetch him before he strains himself. yes?"

"what? what happened? how-"

"goodbye, miss Potts. do make haste." Loki hung up the phone.

she'd give Tony fifteen seconds to calm down on his own before putting him to sleep with magic.

"you didn't... have to do that... I'm fine."

they waited less than twenty minutes before pepper arrived (impressive on her part, Loki admitted) for Pepper to insist that Tony go to a doctor. she was letting him drive himself and had kindly offered to take Loki back to the hotel for him. it was glaringly obvious that Tony was not going to a hospital. as soon as he was out of earshot, Pepper rounded on Loki, eyes alight with anger. she seized the dark haired woman by the upper arm and hauled her in close to her face, unintimidated by her height.

"this is going to _stop_. today, right now. I am serious."

"whatever do you-"

"don't. I don't know what you game is, or what sick twisted crap you're trying to pull here. but I will not stand by and watch you torture him." her low tone was murderous and Loki was liking her more by the second no matter how intrusive and nosey she was being.

"you are going to stop treating Tony like he did something wrong here. it takes two to tango. this situation is just as much your fault as his. act like it. he has been nothing but fair to you from the beginning. if this is all some Paris Hilton, trashy cry for attention, find a way to do that without dragging anyone else into it."

Loki opened her mouth to ask who that was and pepper nearly jabbed her in the face with a finger.

"no! I don't want to hear it. I don't care. you have no clue what this is doing to him. and I don't think you'd care if you did. you know what? some people swore it was only a matter of time before one of his whores turned up pregnant. I should've figured it would be a narcissistic _bitch_."

Loki felt her face harden at the words, magic stirring underneath her skin. ready to lash out.

"you want to take that to the press? do it. quote away. but remember who said it. remember who said it and that Tony would never have said it because he's too worried about the baby in your body to tell you off for your bullshit."

Loki was surprised. Pepper didn't seem the type for profanity.

"jealousy is unbecoming. I haven't done a thing to warrant such... _hostility_ , miss Potts. if you must know, Tony was the one to seek out my company-"

"because he wants to make peace. for the sake of your baby. does that really mean nothing to you?" Pepper was outraged on Tony's behalf. he was doing the best he could.

Loki knew that a physical altercation would be a bad idea. the impulse to reach out and kill pepper was strong, but she pushed it down. pregnancy was never easy on her temper, usually by her fifth month Loki was nearly as volatile and impulsive as Thor.

all she could do was sidle past pepper and let herself into the woman's car. it was a tense ride back to the hotel. the whole thing had been a waste of time and had derailed Loki's plans for the day. in no mood for exercises, she climed out of the car without a word and strode on her way.

"Ms. Friggson?"

Loki paused but didnt answer. Pepper potts seemed to love the sound of her own voice from the seat of her high horse.

"expect a call before the end of the day. in the interest of all parties involved, I really do think communication has to be improved."

Loki rolled her eyes, sinister neon green coming to lock on earnest  ocean blue. whatever Tony wished for, pepper would bend backwards to grant it seemed.

"I like you, Pepper Potts. don't ever change."

* * *

Loki picked a sizeable mansion that was not perfect, but the best to be found in Malibu. it took maybe three and a half hours. it was imperfect but there were things that money and magic could solve. she was just getting off the phone with a relator about buying it when Pepper Potts called. she considered not answering, just to piss her off.

then she remembered the very real panic in Tony's nonsensical ramble about being hated by their child. she swiped the screen to answer the call.


End file.
